Bonjour!
It makes me very emotional whenever I think about the women in my life. I have mentioned this before especially during my younger years with Segunda and the Leonors (there was another Leonor actually whom I also loved). But as I expected, traveling would not remove my fondness for the species. No heartbreaks, no heartaches would stop me from pursuing them. LOL (I discovered this acronym the other day). They are such fascinating beings that I can't help but be attracted. They move with grace that rival the natural movements of the waters by the shore. Their skin is without flaw, so smooth and soft to the touch. They are as beautiful as the mighty pearl of the orient-- they must have taken many years to perfect. God is amazing, you know.
I went on a trip to Europe with a few of my compatriots. It was a great learning experience... which I can discuss more extensively on another day, another blog entry. For now I will only talk about one thing. Women. LOL.
I really like women, and I am not ashamed to admit this. In my opinion, it is better if we openly express our awe to their very being. However, bounds are in place. You can either be slapped or admired. I choose the latter one, naturally. Suave.
Although I have yet to find my fairytale ending, I have had my share of love stories. In Europe alone I was already able to charm about 5 women. Good times.
I was still in love with Leonor Rivera. She was my ideal woman. If my novel Noli Me Tangere would be real, she would be my Maria Clara. She was my all... I could not believe having another relationship with a woman would be possible after her. I tried my best to remain faithful to our love. She loved me. I knew that.
Still, I was able to meet Consuelo Ortiga, a pretty lady who was enraptured by my poems. I dedicated one that became my favorite, A la Senorita C.O. y R. I often visited their place in Madrid, although I had to back out when things started to get a little serious. What made things worse was my friend, Eduardo de Lete, was madly in love with her. Who was I to meddle with their lives? I was but a passing ship, as she was to me. Leonor's beautiful face reappeared several times in my mind...
I had news then that things with Leonor were not looking bright at home. I wonder if she had been getting my letters? That mom of hers probably kept it from her. Ah, what am I saying? This must be what it feels like to be bitter. If there's a lol, there must be a laughing softly? LS? Anyway, I tried to force myself to open up to other women. This news left me brokenhearted and I need to heal.
In London, I became a guest in the Beckett house. This was about the time I annotated Sucesos de las Islas Filipinas. I met a lovely blue-eyed buxom woman named Gertrude (see picture). She was the eldest among three daughters. Who knew that she were to fall fast for me. She was madly in love. It was very flattering. But things got out of hand and I couldn't handle the intensity of everything that I decided to put a stop to it. I gave her a carving as a token of our brief relationship. I hope she finds another man who could satisfy her. She's a sweet girl.
I went to Biarritz and stayed in Eduardo Boustead's home. There I met Adelina and Nellie, whom I befriended. We played fencing at Juan Luna's studio twice a week. Antonio Luna seemed to be courting Nellie at the time. They were pretty women, it was not surprising that many people were courting them. Nellie and I were getting close though, so I don't suppose Antonio wants to be my buddy anytime soon. LOL. He'd probably want to hit me when he got the chance.
In a Filipino party we had over at Madrid, something Antonio did caught me by surprise. I was expecting hostility against me... but lo, he attacked the beautiful, unpresuming Nellie Boustead. I grew livid. What was this man up to?? Was he gay?! Why would he dare say such foul words to a woman whom he claimed to love!? It was unheard of. I challenged this coward to a duel. Tomorrow, near the park. I could already picture the epic battle between me and this lowlife. Not long after my plan has been nearly fixed in my imagination, Antonio slapped himself into reality and apologized for everything. O Dios.
Continuing, Nellie and grew even closer after that. We had a sweet love that was always so pleasant. Things would have worked out, had it not been for her mother who did not want me, because I was a physician 'without enough paying clientele'. Also there was an issue with my religion. Despite my anti-prayle beliefs, I still believe in God. It is what I have always known. I believe that there is God and Christianity (as flawed as it may be in my homeland) is still what can save us. So I refused to be converted to Protestantism. It was bittersweet, but we remained good friends with good Nellie.
The cost of living in Paris was too high for me so I had to transfer to Brussels. Suzanne Jacoby and her sister were my very hospitable hosts. Here was another love story that quickly turned passionate. I loved her. It was as if we were careless teenagers very much in love. I had to move again eventually though, and this naturally broke her heart. It pained me to see her cry so much... but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Sorry, ladies.
Pepe
----------------------------------------------------------------
Darlene Haw
No comments:
Post a Comment