rizalj09 - Feeling slightly better. Out shopping. Back later, leave a message.
As soon as I return, I shall write again. I'm feeling quite insecure about my looks. :( Nyay. Abanagan ang pag-iinarte ni Pepe mamaya.
I am back.
Last time, I blogged about the Influenza and how I spent many days recovering from the illness. It was terrible... I don't quite like the feeling of being helpless. The time wasted could have been used for planning a revolution against the Spaniards or some other big thing like that. :(
One thing that I was able to get from my many days of boredom was seen through the person staring back at me everyday from the 10 feet oak cabinet. He walked with a natural gait until he came to a stop just in front of me. His stance betrayed no insecurity or uncertainty in his purpose. He looked like a man so sure of his ideas of this world. There was much going on for him, that was sure... for not many people who felt bad about themselves would be able to be so certain of his own existence. He ran his fingers once through his smooth hair. No, it was not arrogant at all. He simply exuded an aura of respect, that man. And yet, the look in his eyes betrayed the unsatisfaction this man felt.
I sat down in front of my mirror and continued to stare at my reflection. This time, my eyes stayed on my face. I have to admit, I wasn't exactly what the girls would call, hot. I knew that women wanted me for my wit, my brains. On my appearances though... I am average. Not so special. Sometimes even ugly. Yeah, I think it's more of that last one. Hai. :( On most days my physical appearance isn't of utmost importance to me, but then there are times I could not help but remember my insecurities about my looks. Compared to the many beautiful looking people I've met, I was just dirt. Huhu. The Spanish are really good looking, so are the Europeans. This is also why I'm quite hesitant to put my picture up in friendster. I only put the few good ones...
When I finally recovered from the Influenza, I really wanted to do some shopping. Today was just another day for this. I am going home to the Philippines (Calamba) in a few days so I might as well bring home some of the good stuff. I guess this is just my coping mechanism for my insecurities. But I do have to say, it is quite enjoyable to pick out outfits that are of the latest fashion. What's even more rewarding is the respect or awe that comes with it (through other people's responses). Ahh. I guess it is a bit shallow. But I did realize that looks could be important too. It's something we could not simply look over. Who said this was only for women? Aye no, we men have to take care of our appearances too.
Dr. Maximo Viola has been accompanying me on these trips around Europe. It's been fun. He also went with me to the shops for mens clothing. We searched through coats, frocks, jackets, trousers, tophats, ties... it was quite tedious, really. I was later on able to buy this three piece layering which was called a Ditto Suit (picture). It had a sack coat, with a matching waistcoat/vest and finally the trousers. I chose black so that it's a classic piece. I also bought a tophat to match.
I even went to the town's barbershop. They seemed eager to fix my 'plain hair'. The guy who worked on me told me that in Hollywood, this was the fashionable hairstyle. They created waves on my hair and parted it a different way. I decided to trust the local barber on his judgment. Who knows, it might catch on in the Philippines. Anyway, it made me look neat so I gave him an extra tip before I left.
I should really say, doing something this light is good from time to time. Plus it makes people feel good. Now that I do feel better about myself, I would spend a few more days here... probably do more shopping in between, among other activities... before I head back to my homeland.
Wait for me, Filipinas.
Ciao!
J.Rizal
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Darlene Haw
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